Secular Sage

The older I get the more consequential decisions I have had to make. Job offers frequently cross my path, investment opportunities, relocation opportunities, house purchases, and so on. Fortunately I have only had to choose a partner once and my children were no choice, although should we have had a third? I forget who said that the two most important decisions you will make in your life are who you marry and where you live. The former has had a drastic impact on my life and on the lives of close friends and families, for better and for worse. The second is often underrated. I have always been a big proponent of this idea. Humans are adaptable, we will adapt to our environment, whatever it is, therefore choose it well, for you. The other possibility is depression, that is we never adapt.

All that to make the point that when it comes to choosing our environments, that is the place and people we are surrounded with, choices matter. Our spouse, wether we have kids or not and how many, who we work with, who we bump into or pass by (where we live), who these people turn out to be is of consequence.

I am an incessant thinker, some would say an over thinker, I tend to weigh up my options carefully before making them and many years after. There is something to be said for this approach. Reflecting on the fruit of one’s decisions helps us to choose better, there is nothing more unimpressive than people who keep making the same mistakes over and over again. History repeats itself, in part because of thoughtless leadership.

I am also a believer in action, I believe that in most cases action trumps inaction. We should have a bias towards action. So often I see people over pontificating ideas and options, turning them over this way and that, but real understanding comes in execution. Some things have to be tried to be understood. More often than not, hitting the bullseye is a repetitive process of aiming, firing and recalibration. So we should aim at the best possible thing we can imagine at a given point in time, but we must pull the trigger, even if we miss the target altogether the first time. How else do we make progress?

And this is the key point that I want to make: This process is more about the making of a man, than the making of a series of decisions. Just like a good tennis shot doesn’t make a good tennis player, we should not be fooled into thinking that a good decision doesn’t make a good decision maker. We have to be willing to let a few bad decisions go in our effort to become a weapon that shoots true. Regret done right is an integral part of the recalibration stage of this process so should not be dismissed. The real potential for failure lies with the person who quits the process.

That said, the positivity, creativity, and inspiration required to keep aiming is not the product of excessive introspective regret. No one is energised by the idea that they have wasted time and energy taking a massive detour towards their destination. A more redemptive take on decision making is necessary to stay in the game long term, and also the most compelling. I regret much of my pitiful regret. It taints everything, the successes and the lessons, unnecessarily. It doesn’t inspire confidence in me or in others in me.

This is what I have learned. We should take focussed, thoughtful and authentic aim. We should pull the trigger before too long. We should recalibrate our philosophy and strategy every time, understanding that each shot is one necessary step closer to success, whatever that might be for you.